The ceaseless prattling about the virtues of democracy, both by George Bush in reference to actual democracy, and by the left in reference to their ongoing policy of getting whatever they want whenever they want, has reminded me that I need to blog about the perfect political system, which I devised because I am so goddamn smart. Almost as smart as Atrios, if that gives you any perspective on how totally fucking genius I am.
First off I should recite something I tell nearly everyone who makes the mistake of talking politics with me: The only people in this country that I hate more than Republicans are Democrats.
Leftist jackasses who read my blog tend to think that just because I hate Democrats, I must be the sort of blue blood Republican strawman that their limited politcal awareness is designed to attack. I'm not. I distrust virtually all politicians, Republican or Democrat. I just happen to hate SO MUCH what Democrats stand for, I can't find time in my political day to consider much else.
So...
The two primary features of a politician are ambition and incompetence. It's my belief that a system which seeks to eliminate these two traits, as much as is practical, wins. And so:
Every four year cycle (or some other suitable time period), all American adults are presented with the opportunity to take a test. This is an SAT style test which covers math, history, finance, science, theology, all the fields which are critical to competence in government. This is entirely optional. The tests will be written and designed by the sitting government.
The top 5% (or 10% or whatever suitable number) of all scorers are excused from paying taxes for the duration of the cycle (or some other suitable reward).
From the top .5% of all scores 500 people (or whatever number is necessary) are selected at random, and are then required by law to serve as the government for the next cycle. High scores in states, towns, etc. can also be used to fill regional governments. If these people do not accept their position, they will be imprisoned, fined, stripped of citizenship, or some similar penalty.
The details beyond this are relatively minor compared to the general concept, which is to create a government based entirely on merit, and not on ambition. Note that the government is selected at random from the top of the results, making deliberate attempts at leadership relatively fruitless. Even getting the highest score in the nation won't assure a seat on the government, only a high degree of competence and luck.
Note that this eliminates political parties and with it the partisanship which currently renders this country almost completely impotent.
It's the greatest idea of the past 100 years.
Top that Atrios.