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My name is Jack, you dummies

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Link one:  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13800932/
Link two:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0055277/
Link three:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060771/

Let me start off by saying that Lech and Jaroslaw Kaczynski are some darling little hobbits.  I had thought that none had survived the pogroms, but apparently there's still a bustling shire just outside of Brznkywlyky.

Both ran on a pledge to fight the cronyism that has since flourished, a message Jaroslaw stressed during brief remarks at the presidential palace.

Nothing says “no to cronyism,” quite like electing your own brother PM.

But, really, think of all the humorous Parent Trap sorts of antics these lads can pull when they're not too busy filching themselves the makings for second breakfast?  I know, you're thinking that these are some serious fellows, they couldn't possibly pull off any of that sort of tomfoolery, right?  How wrong you are.

The twins — who happen to be Geminis — first won fame as child actors in the 1962 hit film “The Two Who Stole The Moon.”

I looked it up, and apparently Gemini is the sign of the twins, so that little astrological joke was lost on me at first, but now I'm enjoying it in all its Morissettian irony.

IMDB describes the film:  Twin brothers, Jacek and Placek, are the town's troublemakers. They're lazy, greedy and also cruel. They despise hard work, so they cook up a plan to make easy money that would make them rich for the rest of their lives: steal the moon and sell it. They set on a journey to find a place where the moon would be low enough for them to steal. Before they leave, they take the last loaf of bread from their poor hardworking mother. After numerous adventures the boys manage to catch the moon in a fishing net. But it is only the beginning of their troubles.

Nothing says cronyism, laziness, cruelty, and a penchant for the theft of astral bodies quite like 'Lech and Jaroslaw Kaczynski.'

posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 5:01 PM

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# re: The Poland Trap... 7/14/2006 10:13 PM Maude from 24.19.46.198
A BAGHDAD QUIZ....Here's an idle question on a deadly serious subject. Suppose Iraq melts down completely. Baghdad turns into a killing field, a hundred thousand people die, and entire neighborhoods are razed. After a year or two of this, the Kurds have control of Kirkuk and are safe in Kurdistan, the Shiite militias emerge victorious in the rest of the country, and the Sunni population is decimated. There is a government in place, but in reality Grand Ayatollah Ali Sistani calls the shots from his rooms in Najaf.

Got that? I'm not saying this is what will happen, I'm just suggesting that it's a distinct possibility. So here's the question: if this is how things turn out, what will be the primary conservative storyline to explain what really happened?

1. Insufficient force and resolve were brought to bear. We should have turned Fallujah into a modern-day Dresden.

2. The media undermined the war effort. The terrorists knew they only had to wait us out.

3. Iraqis are still better off than they were under Saddam, and Los Angeles hasn't been nuked. Liberals don't understand a victory when they see one in front of their eyes.

4. We were wrong about the efficacy of force in creating liberal democracies. We're now sadder but wiser.

Just kidding about that last one, of course. But take your pick of the others. Or add your own!

# re: The Poland Trap... 7/14/2006 10:29 PM Jack from 67.166.2.58
Gosh, what does this have to do with Poland and/or loveable hobbit twins?

"Suppose Iraq melts down completely."

We can only dream. Any cost is worth it to make George Bush wrong, right?

"There is a government in place, but in reality Grand Ayatollah Ali Sistani calls the shots from his rooms in Najaf."

Shows how much you know about Sistani. He's not Khomeini.

"We must not forget that true Shiite philosophy as represented by Ayatollah Sistani, rejects the theory of the unification of Church and the State and opposes Ayatollah Khomeini's doctrine of the rule of the religious elders."

From here: http://www.paktoday.com/battle7.htm

But you just go ahead thinking "Ayatollah" is Arabic for "evil dictator." The fact that you cast Sistani in this role, rather than Sadr, shows just how little you actually know about Iraq.

"I'm just suggesting that it's a distinct possibility."

As distinct as the possibility that you don't know what the fuck you're talking about? Like, that distinct? No, nothing's that distinct.

I'm not playing your game. "Let's just assume that I'm totally proven right! How would you fail to prove me wrong then?" Have your grotesque little fantasies on your own time. You may get a boner thinking of Bush's first press conference after mass death in Baghdad, but I don't. I get a little stuck with the "mass death in Baghdad" part. But you're the compassionate one.

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