The link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11312757/
The not-at-all-liberally-biased mainstream media has struck another blow to the Bush administration, by uncovering another dastardly deed on the part of evil-mastermind Dick Cheney. It turns out that Vice President Cheney accidentally shot and injured a friend he was hunting with, and didn't inform the media in as timely a fashion as they later decided he needed to.
First George W. Bush has the audacity to be in the same room as a corrupt lobbyist, possibly even shake his hand... And now Dick Cheney is failing to immediately inform the media of non-illegal activities he participated in on private property. These people are completely reckless.
Unfortunately, this forces me to spill yet more insider information, again, totally against my will. But spill I must, in order to beat back the incredibly convincing and compelling attacks of the not-at-all-liberally-biased mainstream media against my personal hero, George W. Bush (n' friends).
Here it is, folks: On October 26th, 2004, just before the Presidential election, John F. Kerry was at one of his wife's ski chalets, in a meeting with a number of staffers and aides. Kerry was seated at a desk, reviewing some polling data, when he realized that it was 3:15 pm, and he had missed his 3:00 pm application of smoothing facial cream. As he backed his chair up, in order to fetch the cream from his toiletry bag, staffer Judy Weintraub was walking behind him. His chair struck her in the shin and knee, sending her stumbling, and leaving a severe bruise, which lasted for several weeks. Not only did Kerry fail to report this incident to the media, he also failed to correct the record when Ms. Weintraub told Washington Post reported David Etienne, who had enquired about her limp, that she had “just tripped over a chair.”
A shocking revelation, and an obvious cover-up on Kerry's part.
But seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Mainstream media. You people are fucking losers. You put up a picture of Bush in the same room as Jack Abramoff, and act like it's news. You decide, arbitrarily, that Dick Cheney has to tell you about an accident on some imaginary timeline you made up, just to embarass him. You people are so disgustingly, obviously desperate for stories that hurt the Bush administration that it's getting embarassing. Eventually, even your apologists, people like my parents, won't be able to defend your idiocy anymore.
Go back to covering the baby pandas at the zoo. You people are not fit to report on anything more serious than that.