Considering all the billions of dollars our governmnet pumps into worthless studies, I think it's time they researched the Dog Hive Mind.
Yesterday the dogs were being assholes. Every so often they have an “asshole day” where they are perpetually fired up, sprint around the house, won't shut up, won't stay out of the kitchen, won't stop stealing socks and underwear, and generally just act like assholes.
Another symptom of a doggy asshole day is that they bark (or grooot in Clyde's case) pretty much the whole time they're in their enclosure. What's interesting, though, is that yesterday the whole neighborhood was fired up. This being suburban Colorado, everyone in the entire place has a dog, most likely a lab of some kind, but regardless, some sort of dog. All of them were barking yesterday.
Why, dogs? What has got you all barking at once, on the same day? The US government should funda study to find out why. I envision that the weather channel could, in addition to showing us “green stuff” on the doppler map, and giving fire risk warnings, could also let us know when we're going to have an “asshole dog day” so I can just put the goddamn dogs in their crates, and squirt them with the spraybottle when they complain.