So, as it turns out, Sandy and Ian now combine to win the Team Award For Wisdom Tooth Prediction. Just when I thought wisdom tooth removal was going to be a super-cool experience, things went downhill. First off, I started getting shooting pain in my bottom right jaw, which, apparently, is the manifestation of “dry socket.” So, every four hours (when I take my painkillers), it would be throbbing unmerciful, and I'd be very happy with things.
Now this might have been fixed, since I had an appointment for a checkup yesterday, but I couldn't get to that. No, I was busy with The Worst Thing Ever©. Roughly 45 minutes before my appointment, I attempted to use the toilet, and for about an hour and a half, failed miserably. Now, upon discussing this with people I know, particularly ones over 60, I find that apparently this is a totally common occurance that I have somehow avoided to this point in my life, but which awaits me with great regularity later in life. Constipation. Apparently the result of the Oxycodone I was taking. I don't care why, I hate it.
So, anyway, thanks to various pills that situation has resolved itself. It's worth noting that my wife keeps the “I can't shit” pills in the kitchen. I don't know about her, but I don't generally find myself unable to shit in the kitchen. I don't generally even try to shit in the kitchen. But that's where the pills are. And now things are back on track. So today I went to the doctor, and he told me I had “dry socket” in my bottom right “wound.” He took a dressing, which he had soaked in some form of magic chemical, which smelled like cloves (and this is the part where Sandy is the big winner) and he jammed it in my “wound” and it fairly quickly made that side of my jaw totally cool again. Like, at this point, the left side is perpetually slightly uncomfortable, and the right is now totally fine all the time. It's very mysterious, but it did smell like cloves. Nothing says “modern painkilling technology“ like “cloves.“ Am I at the fucking thaumaturgist here?
Now I have to take a syringe thing, and wash out the holes in my head with diluted mouth wash. Since “dry socket” is when you dislodge the blood clot over your bone/hole/wound thing, I don't really see how firing fluids in there under pressure is going to help with that. But, I do what I'm told.
So, furious pain, broken ass, still can't eat anything that requires more than very basic chewing. It's all adding up to a really wonderful, extended experience.