The link: http://www.democrats.com/node/5037
I linked this page in my last post, but I've come to realize that I can't possibly link it enough, for serveral reasons. First, due to the wonders of blogging software, I get a trackback link on the page, which causes people to come to my blog, and accuse me of having a black heart (which might be true, I've never seen it, and don't want to), and of being pro-life (which I am so flagrantly not, it's hilarious). Also, the comments on that page are so fucking wonderful, that no amount of linking, pointing, suggesting, quoting and paraphrasing can ever be too much.
There's one comment I really, really love, and I shall quote it here, in its glorious fullness.
Submitted by jellocat on June 18, 2005 - 12:15am.
Good evening, folks…. A little help, please. Do we have a clear indication of the media’s response to Rep. Conyer’s hearing on Thursday? I have seen and heard nothing, although I haven’t researched much. I do know that I heard nothing on NPR all of today, Friday, even though there was great noise made about the Iranian election, continuing Terry Shaivo affair, and Tom Cruise’s proposal on the Eiffel Tower . This afternoon, Juan Williams was interviewed on NPR and nothing was said. There was another prominent interview, earlier today, about Bush’s falling poll numbers, Senator Durban’s outrage about Guantonimo (sp), and, yes, Terry Sheivo, but still nothing was said. New York Times today, appeared to say nothing, at least on its front page.
Did I miss something, or did corporate media, including NPR, by the way, (National Corporate Radio), again, just blow off this monumental event?
Oh god, it's good. It's so good. Bask in it. Read it out loud, in your best lilting, whiney liberal voice. Isn't that nice? Mmmm.
Before I get into my central point, let me pick out some of the larger chocolate chips from this idiot cookie. First off, notice how jellocat opens with a greeting. I love when people do that in comments. Liberals are so externally validated, it's just great. Second, notice that jellocat fails to spell Durbin, Guantanamo, Terri and Schiavo, all in the same sentence. They even put the (sp) thing after “Guanitomato” to imply they realize they don't know how to spell it, but can't possibly trouble themselves to look it up on the internet. And Huowort thinks Republicans never do any work? Finally, Hussain's favorite, which shall serve as the segue into my central point, there's the part where jellocat calls NPR “National Corporate Radio.” That's right. NPR is too conservative for jellocat.
Now, of course this story has been covered by many major media outlets. But why isn't it being treated as the “monumental event” that jellocat thinks it is? Why is NPR wasting valuable airtime blathering about something as trivial as elections in Iran? There's a very simple reason why people like jellocat are able to call a flagrantly liberal station like NPR “corporate” and not stab themselves in the face in embarassment. It's not that NPR, the New York Times, the Washington Post, the LA Times aren't liberal. They are. It's just that they're relatively intelligent, mainstream sorts of liberals. When some House Democrats put on a terrifyingly embarassing costume party, liberals with any intellect at all are embarassed. They report it... They have to... But they bury it, or downplay it, or otherwise shy away from the idiot spectacle their leadership thinks they can pass off as governing. This is how the far left convinces itself that the mainstream media is conservative. The mainstream media tries to pretend they don't hear their mewling, shrieking idiot cousins, and the idiots try to pretend it's cause the mainstreamers aren't ready for their awesome new ideas.
The number one rule of Fringe Dwelling Asshole Club, is “Do not accept that you're a member of Fringe Dwelling Asshole Club.” People like jellocat may seem stupid, or incapable of spelling simple words, but this is not entirely their fault. At any given moment, jellocat is spending 60% to 85% of his/her mental capacity trying to suppress the realization that not only does the entire right think he/she is a retard, but even a great majority of the left finds him/her to be an embarassment and discredit to the cause. This leaves a mere 15% of total mental capacity free to execute difficult spelling maneuvers, such as “Guantanamo.” It's not possible for jellocat to imagine that, maybe, a fake hearing by a fragmenting, disgraced political party, does more to highlight how little power and influence it has, than it does to damage the credibility of a wartime President. That's not possible. Just focus on how “incredibly inspiring“ it is, and purge all other thoughts.
The real story isn't elections in Iran... That's not “big news” because the spread of Democracy in the middle east is “bad news” for Fringe Dwelling Assholes. As empathic as they think they are, they can't seem to imagine that a normal, compassionate person might consider the Democratization of Iran to be a very positive, liberating thing for millions of people. The real story is some ridiculous antics being carried out by powerless and irrelevant politicians.
When I can wrestle my hatred under control, I really enjoy this stuff. Not only do I enjoy watching the Democrats unloading entire magazines of bullets into their feet, but I especially enjoy the effect it has on Hussain. Being a liberal himself, he's really kinda rooting for these people. When they're this ridiculous, this utterly insane, I think it makes his inner hippie cry, and collapse in a corner of his mind, making her unable to intercept truth before it leaves his mouth. Quoth Hussain: “Nothing's ever been this gay before.” It's the truest thing he's ever said. Unless he's admitted what a fag he is at some point...