I think it's fair to say that without Google, I'd be classifiable as retarded. I don't really know anything. My brain is empty, except for a simple heuristic that I use to plug words into Google. When I need to know something, I just ask Google. I don't even bother to remember it, cause Google will always know.
But Google's giving doesn't stop there. I also have gotten some very interesting responses to my blog, which have amassed to the point that I feel compelled to recount them in a post all their own.
Abel Alvarado : Link
This was pretty much the first evidence I got that anybody besides my wife and friends ever sees this blog. I put up a post about how I'm trying to figure out what sort of desk to get, and Abel posted, asking me to check out www.work-benches.com. I feel like a dick for not taking Able up on his offer, but I got a desk from work, so now I don't really need one so much. Still, you have to admire a guy who is either Googling the world, looking for idiots who are confused by desks, or who at least wrote a script to do it for him.
Soj : Link
I guess it's not surprising that Soj would find my blog, since he seems to spend a lot of time combing the internet for information. He was doing a lot of research on Keith Idema, who you may recall is a former paintball lunatic, turned self-employed mercenary lunatic in Afghanistan. It's too bad that Soj is sorta anti-establishment, because it'd be nice to make friends with somebody that's as busy digging up information as he is, but is also as interested as I am in killing Mike Moore.
Monte Cahn : Link
I like to imagine Monte Cahn as looking and acting exactly like the character that James Caan plays in The Way of the Gun. I'm sure he actually looks like an over-the-hill dot commer, but I can dream. Anybody responding to my blog these days will note the OCR proof bot-blocking 'enter the string' validator hoop that you have to jump through. This is necessitated by the spammers out there who want to generate web hits for their stupid penis pill websites, which Monte so kindly hosts. Monte assures us that his company is “not involved in spamming of any kind,“ but since every single fucking spammer that hit my site used him as a host and registrar, I've got my doubts.
Still, since I had the validator in place before Monte responded, it's reasonably likely that Monte himself, or one of his employees, actually visited my blog. In that regard, my blog has brought me one step closer to dropping a cinderblock on the face of a spammer, spyware author, or virus programmer. It's not quite where I want to be, for example stabbing Keith Smith in the face with a rusty screwdriver, but it's promising. By the way, Keith used to have pictures of himself on his website. I guess maybe he realized it'd be best if people didn't know what he looked like.
Sgt. Ted: Link
Sgt. Ted describes himself as “one who is currently babysitting terrorists.” When I heard that, the first thing that came to mind was Guantanamo Bay. The email notification I get of feedback to my blog includes an IP address. 99 times out of 100, these IPs will track to the USDA offices in Fort Collins, since that's where my communist friends Ian and Hussain work. When I put Sgt. Ted's IP into WHOIS, this is what I got:
GTMO Morale & Welfare Recreation (MWR) GITMO-MWR (NET-216-139-170-80-1)
That's right. Sgt. Ted really is down in Guantanamo Bay, apparently in the Morale & Welfare Recreaction center. If that's not the coolest shit ever, then somebody please Google “coolest shit ever” and tell me what is. Sgt. Ted, if you happen to read this, please kick a Jihadi in the sack for me, and more importantly, don't get caught. Seriously though, stop playing loud music at them, and being less than totally supportive of their feelings. That's not nice, Sgt. Ted. Any liberal Senator will tell you, enemy combatants are entitled to love, hugs, and the occasional handjob. If we don't do that, then the terrorists have already won. Thanks.