On the drive into work, I like to listen to Morning Sedition on Air America radio. Most mornings I have enough detatchment to just laugh at them, and enjoy their futile flailings, their empty reproaches, their hypocritical attacks. This morning, I just couldn't fucking stand it. It's Christmas. It's not “the holidays.” It's not the “culturally ambiguous winter giving period.” It's fucking Christmas. It's one thing when Marc Maron is ranting insanely about it. It's another when it cuts to a commercial for Best Buy or some shit, and they ask “not sure what to get your family for the holidays?” Sorry, “for the holidays?” Don't you mean “for Christmas,” you overly PC cockgobbler?
Maron's basic point, which he shrieked repeatedly, and liberally sprinkled with references to “christofascist zombies,” was that Christians are apparently trying to impose their views on “the rest of us” by putting up Merry Christmas signs all over, playing Christmas music, and generally being excited about one of the most fun, beloved holidays of the year. The key phrase, though, the phrase that shows how important it is to never give liberals a fucking inch, is “they're trying to.” Maron kept talking about how 'the Christofascists are trying to...' The key here is the implication that putting up Merry Christmas signs is a change. In liberal PC fantasy world, for the past two hundred years, we've been saying “Happy Holidays” and we've been totally culturally ambiguous. There has been nary a “Merry Christmas” nor a mall Santa as far as the eye can see. We all saw the movie A Holiday Story, in which young Ralphie embarks on a quest to obtain his very own Red Ryder Accepting-Hug-O-Matic...
But enough with the sarcasm and bullshit. The simple fact is that this nation, for a hundred fucking years, has celebrated Christmas when December rolled around. Now, in the last 5-10 years, because somebody made the mistake of smiling and nodding at some PC extremist, rather than punching them in the mouth and firing them, liberals are pretending like it's Christians “trying to change things.” No. Christians aren't changing shit. They're trying to keep celebrating Christmas like they always have. They're trying to make it the same, magical experience it was when they were kids. Kids love Santa. A big jolly fat guy in a red suit is apparently a concept that really works for kids. A sparkling tree, with ornaments and presents that suddenly appear one night... It all works great for kids. But the liberals don't like it. They'd rather turn Christmas into a grey, generic, certifiable inoffensive nothing. And while they try to take Christmas away from the Christians, they're going to act like it's them being oppressed, their safe, smoothed over “holiday season” being taken from them, and replaced with this new fascist Christian version of things.
Bullshit. Merry Fucking CHRISTMAS.