Jack's Blog

Word of the day:  unequivocably.

I was listening to Rush, and he played a sound byte from Kerry back in '94.  Quoting the Washington Post (that's Post, Ian, you fucking commie):  “In 1994, discussing the possibility of U.S. troops being killed in Bosnia, he said, 'If you mean dying in the course of the United Nations effort, yes, it is worth that. If you mean dying American troops unilaterally going in with some false presumption that we can affect the outcome, the answer is unequivocally no.'"

In this transcription, they spell it “unequivocally,” which is how I thought the word was spelled and pronounced.  Hearing the sound byte, though, Kerry pretty clearly says “unequivocably” which made me say to myself “hey, that's not right, is it?”  So, I went to dictionary.com, and checked it out.  They don't think it's a word.  I then commented on this to Hussain, and he started getting Bowler Hat with me.  Witness:

I'm not going to bother reprinting it here, but take my word that Hussain then spent the next few minutes being all snide about how I don't check my sources, how dictionary.com is apparently the online reference equivalent to Alex Jones, etc.  He's very proud of his Merriam-Webster lookup, and how it says “unequivocably“ is a word.  He mocks me for only having one source, and then he counts himself a fucking genius for doing the same thing.  Unfortunately for him, while he was busy patting himself on the back for being Snarkmeister Numero Uno, I had some time to research this further.  Nobody besides Hussain's boyfriends at Merriam-Webster thinks “unequivocably“ is a word.  As I already pointed out, dictionary.com doesn't.  Neither does MS Word.  Nor does yourDictionary.com.  Nor does the Cambridge Online Dictionary.  Nor does MSN Encarta online dictionary.  Nor HyperDictionary.  None of them.  Even the communists over at Merriam-Webster, despite their fervent desire to be inclusive to all words, no matter how fucked up, have to admit that this a “nonstandard” form of the word “unequivocally.”  It would seem that when our vision is not blocked by the brim of our Bowler Hat, that Merriam-Webster is really the Alex Jones of online dictionaries, and Hussain, his boyfriend John Kerry, and everyone else who thinks repeatedly mispronouncing a word makes it right can unequivocably suck my balls.  Especiably Hussain, who is fantasticably gay, and indescribababably foppish.