Paintball guns are dirty little skanks, that's all there is to it. They just demand so much fussing and money before they're willing to work.
Angel LCD: Appears to be ready to go, although the LCD screen still freaks out periodically. It's always done that, the gun still works when it does, but it's a bit unsettling. Of course, the SS-4500 I have on here has a really inconvenient cradle, parts of which are probably off at the hydrotester getting lost right now. Hopefully I can locate all the parts. I may just put my Microreg from the LED on this gun. Right now, I'm rating the LCD as “most likely to fucking work.”
Shocker V-Sport: My Shocker was working like a champ up until its battery died. I fucked around looking for 9V conversions, rechargeables, other such stuff, and eventually just bit the bullet and ordered a pair of new batteries from Smart Parts. I cleaned and lubed the gun the other night, hopefully I didn't change any of the lubrication so much that the solenoid dwell timing needs to change. This gun was very reliable until its battery died, so it might return to prominence, but then again, my previous Shocker ran like a champ for about a year, then just went fucking crazy and never recovered. So who knows.
Angel iR3: This gun is going to Cobra Paintball for a checkup. It would have left this morning, but my internet connection is down, so I couldn't get a copy of the form at Cobra. I'll send it out this coming monday if I can get my cable going again. Anyway, it looks like the battery is shot, it doesn't want to take a charge. I also will have Cobra flash the board up to the most recent firmware version available.
Angel LED: I'm scared of this old guy. I think it aught to work fine, but something makes me fear that the battery is shot, the solenoid is all dried out, or some other similar problem. It hasn't been run in a long time, and it's a 5 year old gun regardless. One of the first electropneumatics. I'll take a look, but I bet it's not going to want to run.
Everything Else: I ordered the $75 chrono from 888Paintball.com. We'll see if it arrives, and if it's any good. Should be enough to test guns with.