This is awesome: http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,10290030^2,00.html
Hey. Democratic party. Where the fuck are the balloons? Seriously, this is what it's all about. These people can't even get their balloons and confetti to fall at their convetion, and they're gonna fight the terrorists. They can't deal with John Kerry getting his picture taken in a Sperm Suit, they can't deal with the balloons and confetti, but, yet more and yet still more, they're going to fight terror, and win.
And you know why they're going to win? Because John Kerry is a real soldier. Know how I know? Cause he started his speech with the words: “I'm John Kerry and I'm reporting for duty.” The kind of man who will say that just HAS to be a soldier. A war hero, a winner of three well deserved purple hearts, and a brave patriot. A true soldier... Wait. Did I say soldier? I meant prideless homo, who will say anything, no matter how humiliating, to win this election. What a sad, sad state of affairs this is. I want my fucking balloons, people. And if I can't have my balloons, at least give me some confetti. I want Kerry to come out to the podium in a miniature river patrol boat, firing off pyrotechnics as black pajama clad “gooks” pantomime their deaths, I want him to leap purposefully from his craft, fight a trio of ninjas to the bloody death, then climb astride the podium, pry his asscheeks apart, and joyfully accept the manhood of an oversized Jaques Chirac effigy into his heroic anus.
This election, and apparently our whole country, is a sad fucking freakshow, and it makes me want to cry.